Alyza Ma Sei Sine

Alyza Ma Sei Sine, picture spoiler here:

Full Name: Ma Sei Sine, Alyza
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Element: Fire
Birthplace: Shu Jing
Position: Teenage run-away
Training: Fire-bending [Sort of between Beginner and Intermediate] Knife Wielding [Beginner, but she's trying to get better] Manipulation [between intermediate and expert. She's always had a way with words]
Companion: A Red Elk that is strangely loyal to her, Evelyn

Spoiler:

Yes this is a reference to Princess Mononoke, my favorite Studio Ghibli movie, so deal with it X3

Personality:
Fierce || Alyza is very proud of herself, and won't hesitate to defend herself. She has a very short temper and a happy trigger finger. (not actually trigger, obviously, just a figure of speech) The point is it doesn't take long to get her pissed off enough to bring out the fire
Smart || She's pretty smart and is very good with words. By this I mean she can manipulate people into doing what she wants (it doesn't always work I'm just saying she's good at it). She can confuse people, persuade them, dissuade them etc.
Quiet || She is rather light-footed and can walk almost silently if she wants to. She's rather judgmental and prefers to only speak to those she thinks are worthy. Except when she gets drunk, then she just talks to anyone and everyone.
Loyal || To those she calls her friends-which are none right now-she is extremely loyal. She will stick by their side like glue, and fight for them if the need arises. Right now the only one like this is Evelyn, her loyal Red Elk companion
Caring || Though she refuses to show it, Alyza has a caring side. She has a soft spot for animals and the less fortunate.
Emotions || Her emotional reactions can vary. Sometimes she shows none, but sometimes she can be quite over dramatic. Most of the comments out of her mouth are scathing, caustic, sarcastic, or witty. And she most definitely never shows doubt or depression.

Abilities:
Fire-Bending || Alyza was born with the ability to create fire from her fingertips (just a fancy way of saying she can fire bend, because description is my favorite thing to write). She's not super advanced in the art of fire-bending, but she's working hard at it. She is, however, past the beginner tier of this ability, but just barely, not enough to be called Intermediate.
Knife Wielding || Alyza brought her favorite knife with her when she ran away from home. She will only use it as a last resort, and keeps it hidden in her left boot. She isn't very good at using it, but she has a mean slice and stab technique
Agility || Alyza is exceedingly agile and fit. She runs quickly, and jumps high. She is also quite flexible (mostly for any situations with lasers! XD). This comes from her history of evading her parents. While she's very skilled in agility, she's not very graceful at regular walking. She has a special talent of tripping over flat surfaces or even her own feet.
Honeyed Words || Lyza has a way with words, and often uses this to manipulate people into doing what she wants. She's always had an easy way with words.
Stalking || She has a wonderful talent of becoming silent when she needs to. She is skilled at hiding and not being found, and is great at finding the information she needs-or wants. Her silence is developed from her history of sneaking out.
Survival || Having lived on her own for a while, she's picked up survival abilities such as the ability to climb trees, figure out which plants are edible, as well as hunting. It's easy for her, she just has to firebend at the animal and BAM! Instantly cooked! No fire needed

Appearance:
Height || 5'6"
Weight || 125 lbs
Eyes || A lovely, entrancing violet color complimented by long, thick eyelashes
Hair || Raven black with seemingly random red and golden streaks (these are actually just strands of her hair that she's dyed with flower powder and the dust of red rocks) || Falls past her hips || Often holds lots of braids
Skin || Very pale || She often has a randomized scrapes on her legs or face, from when she trips and falls, plus she lives on her own in the wild
Figure || Tall || Thin || Slim muscles || She has a double joint in her elbow, because that's cool and I felt like putting that in
Clothes || She generally wears a sleeveless, blood red top with two strips of fabric that hang by her sides and a golden design on the left side || Black skin-tight pants with a red design going up the right leg || Black combat boots up to her knees

Weaponry & Other Gear:
Knife || Alyza has but a small knife slipped into her left boot for emergency use only, or when she's practicing her ability to wield it

Item Name
Materials: Damascus steel
Description:

Spoiler:

History: Alyza was born into a wealthy family in Shu Jing. Her parents were quite a bit restrictive with her and her brother.  They were rarely allowed to do anything besides sit at home and help with whatever their parents told them to do. By the time she actually had any free time, she was too tired to do anything. But that didn't stop her.

No. She would often sneak out during the night. She loved to sit out on the grass and stare up at the stars, admiring the light they gave off. This was the only time she ever felt, well, free, as if she had her own thoughts and not just what her parents shoved down her throat. It was here that she met Evelyn, and it was here that she conjured up the idea to leave.

One night, when she was about 10 or so, she sneaked out of her room. The moon was up and the stars shining, and she laid on her favorite spot on her favorite hill just out of the outskirts of the town. She heard a rustling in the bushes, then a soft whimper. She sat up immediately and looked around for the source. When it sounded again, she pulled herself up onto her knees and crawled in its direction. She rooted around in the bushes, and found a young, injured Red Elk.

The poor thing must have scraped its side on something while running with its herd, for it had a long, deep scratch running along its side. So Alyza, being the caring young girl that she is, she took it under her care. Her parents couldn't find out about it, of course. She hid the wounded Elk in the fields outside of the city. It stayed, shockingly. Most likely because it was too injured to move. But even once it healed, it stayed. Either because she was so grateful to Alyza, or because she knew she'd never be able to find her family again.

As she grew the Red Elk grew with her. She healed, though the scar stayed, and she became very loyal to Alyza. She always listened when she spoke, and she only listened to the Firebender. Evelyn wouldn't let anyone else ride her. Lyn would venture out with her into the darkness when she sneaked out, and she would sit next to Lyza when she gazed up at the stars. They became very close as.

Eventually Alyza became too fed up with her parents strict rules, and decided to leave, and never return. Evelyn went with and supported her, of course, as she was Lyza's ride. She left with nothing but the clothes on her back, Lyn, some money she may or may not have stolen from her parents, and a Damascus steel knife her brother gifted her with for her 14th birthday. She left a note, but not for the sake of her parents. This was for her brother. The two were twins, and very close when they were young. She wanted to leave him with kind words for the sake of their younger lives. She hoped him the best with their ridiculous parents.

From then on, she and Lyn simply traveled the Fire Nation kingdom. She had enough money for the first couple months, but ran out after a bit. She started to do random jobs for anyone who asked, with the help of her trusty Elk, of course. This is what she does now. She's been gone from her home for little over a year. She has a lot more free time now, and spends much of it teaching herself to Fire-Bend. She's always been able to do so, but never had the chance to work on it because she was always so busy. Now that she's not, she's trying to improve her skills in the matter.

Sample RP:

Alyza opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling. She waited silently for a moment, listening for any sign that her parents were awake. When she heard nothing, she quietly pushed her covers off and sat up, glanced around once more, then stood. She silently tip-toed to the window and slid it open cautiously. She peeked left and right again, slipping one leg out, then the other. She pushed off the ledge and landed softly on the ground, her bare feet barely making a sound.

Violet eyes glancing about, she glided quickly across the grass, heading past the neighbor's house and out into the open meadow. She padded up a small hill until she got to the top, then fell backwards. She landed with a soft thump, hands behind her head and legs crossed, and opened her eyes. Above her, stars gleamed down to the land below. A small smile played on her lips.

Suddenly, her eyes snapped open. There was a rustle sounding from her right. She sat up and turned in the direction of the sound, tilting her ear to hear better. The noise sounded again, and she quickly shifted to her knees.

"Who's there?" She whispered, squinting her eyes to see in the dark. She heard a quiet whimper, and crawled forward towards the bushes. She pushed aside the leaves to reveal a rather large, reddish figure. It opened it's eyes and looked up at her, blinking innocently. It whimpered again, then yawned and shivered.

Alyza smiled down at the strange creature, and reached out to it. It shrunk away from her hand, looking up at her with forest green eyes.

"You're hurt!" Lyza frowned, resting her hands underneath it and pulling it from the bushes. She sat beside the elk, in the crook of its stomach. She looked intensely at the line stretching from its fore legs to its back legs. She then carefully touched the wound, trying to see how deep it was. This brought about a snort of pain. "Oh you poor thing...." she mumbled, standing up. "Don't worry, I'll take care of you."

so I'm kind of shaky on this one. there are a lot of the old clichés that every writer is told to avoid (arbitrary "unusual colored physical features" "flawless" features, multiple animal companions, impressive array of skills and accomplishments despite young age, that sort of thing).

the execution seems good and so does your writing style, however. This is not a rejection; simply that I see too any common cliches that can lead to Mary Sues and/or overpowered characters, which I come down extremely hard on due to problems we have faced with this in the past.
I'm fairly open-minded though and am willing to try and stay reasonable, so if there are any questions, lemme know.

I didn't give her violet eyes for the unusualness, I did it because a bit ago I had this craving to draw and decided to give the product violet eyes, I thought it was cool. And I already drew the picture, I don wanna redraw it just for the sake of a cliche.

I'll give her a scar or something, but I usually give all my characters flawless features, probably because that's what I want for myself even though it will probably never happen.

She only has one animal companion. I had originally given her a wolf-panther then I watched Princess Mononoke and thought that a Red Elk would be awesome. Plus I believe that characters who are alone should have at least an animal companion, for loneliness.

And she's not that accomplished. I mean have you seen any of the other apps on this site? I find it ridiculous that some of the ones that are approved are ridiculously OP, more-so than mine. Which is why I have her few skills, I don't know how you can call them accomplishments. She can barely do anything compared to some of the other apps. Plus if you were a 16 year old run-away with nothing to do, don't you think you'd develop some pretty good skills, at least those of survival?

Just my opinion on this stuff

I thought they were black, TBH. the picture doesn't have to be spot-on, y'know. I use a picture for one of my character, of a girl with purple hair. I just chalk it up as one of the differences between my character and the picture (my character's hair is black), so it's not a big deal. [same with the hair in your case.]

well, flawless features by themselves are alright (especially since most people just give their characters scars to make them seem cooler or more badass anyways). Just that it needs to make sense in context. The girl I use the above image for, for example (Kozue) has flawless skin because she is the daughter of a rich man, and so her body is well cared for and groomed. Having spent weeks out in the wilderness by myself to survive... you don't exactly keep flawless skin out there.
Similarly, while Snow White may teach you differently, one cannot simply befriend many wild animals, because by nature... they're... well, wild.

BTW, here's where you mention you have a wolf-partner:

Quote :

Loyal || To those she calls her friends-which are none right now-she is extremely loyal. She will stick by their side like glue, and fight for them if the need arises. Right now the only one like this is Malis, her wolf panther

It's also worth noting that this is Avatar, not Princess Mononoke, and so while it might be fitting in that universe, such is not necessarily the case in this one.
as for wilderness survival... it's definitely not as easy as fiction makes it seem. even the 16-year-olds that learned this kind of thing in Boy Scouts are not suddenly survival experts, let alone self-taught ones.

not trying to be a bitch about this either; just explaining things from one writer to another.

something something something about push coming to shove, compromises, buying me a beer, and something or another. yaddey yaddey. fine print, adminy shit, something else... and yeah.

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